gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
