You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
