I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
