The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
