he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
