what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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