I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
