I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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