absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Boobs are out for the taking
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
