I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
