and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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