I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
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It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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