got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
