My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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