Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
