oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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