i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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