Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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