Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
