This dress was meant to end up on your floor
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
