I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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