It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
