You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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