If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
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I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
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My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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