i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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