I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
my phone needs a breathalizer
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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