if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
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