I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
