You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
