I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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