You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
