batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
