he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
