Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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