Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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