I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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