Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize