I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize