How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
