Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize