I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Randomize
