just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
