Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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