he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
