Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
