If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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