dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
