Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
