This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
