So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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