Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize