I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
