She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize