GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
