I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize