dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
