I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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