If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick has a subreddit
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize