This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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