i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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